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  • Writer's pictureCOY! Communications

KEVIN MALLET - NOT A FOOD PHOTOGRAPHER!



“I’m NOT a food photographer you know.” spluttered Kevin.

He was clearly a bit miffed at being pigeon-holed.


(Altho’ the evidence to the contrary was pretty compelling, given that most of his non-commissioned work involved a foam, drizzle, or velouté of some kind.)


“Of course, I know that,” I said, “but let’s talk about your latest LinkedIn posts…”


“…that aubergine…”


“Right.” said Kev.


“Beautiful!” I said,


“The shallow depth of field, the dramatic rim light, and don't get me started on the bold choice of background colour…”

“Yeh…” said Kev, dreamily, “It took me ages to find that aubergine. At one point I thought they were going to chuck me out of Waitrose…I completely destroyed their display.”


Kevin was clearly in raptures as he recalled his victorious quest to acquire THE most exquisitely proportioned eggplant,


“And before that, you posted the curly sausage, with the gravy,” I said.


“Saucisson a la jus!” He said.


I had a little ponder,


“Not forgetting the quails eggs, pheasant legs, Black Forest ham, quince jam, goblet of custard, mayonnaise mustard, red wine poached pears, the pair of jugged hares, croutons, lardons and soup d' l’oignons…


The cakes, bakes and flaked hakes, Salad Caprese, Pesto Genovese and eggs-over-ese. Your sensational sweetbreads and wondrous wiener…


Kev interjected, “Your point being?”


“Well” I said, “Maybe you should shoot some new stuff that you can’t boil, grill or fricassee?”


“WHAT? NO FOAM? NO VELOUTÉ?”


No!…No velouté”.


And that’s how we decided to create a press ad-campaign to showcase Kevin’s non-food-related photographic credentials.


I think it took me all of five minutes to come up with the ideas. Not boasting or anything, it just did.


The ads wrote themselves really.



I know things are done differently nowadays, usually starting with a Google search and ending with an inch thick deck via an international Zoom meeting or two.


But this is the way we used to put a press campaign together.


A layout pad and a Pentel ‘Sign’ pen.


A few scribbled notes and doodles and at some point something falls out of the end of the pen that gives you a funny feeling down below.


Me personally, I know when I feel compelled to colour my scribbles in, then I’ve got something worth putting on the wall (I still like sticking things on the walls; if it’s good enough for Rembrandt, then it’s good enough for me imho).


With Kevin’s campaign I knew it had to feature anything BUT food, so I thought ‘people’ - they’re not food.

But Kevin really can’t help himself, I know he’ll try to sneak some grub into the shots somehow.


That’s the deep thinking that I employed, and that’s how we’ve ended up with the current proposals on the table/wall.


Kevin LOVED the layouts btw, he was particularly drawn to the Sauce Anglaise on the bloke’s bonce.


Now all we’ve got to do is cast it, style it, shoot it and run it. All on a budget that is a little ‘challenging’ (to use a currently popular phrase).


Oh, did I mention that we’re running it in my new new NEWSPAPER?


I’ll tell you more about that in another blogpost or three.


In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on our progress with our campaign production-wise.


Bon Appetité!


Mark D Esq.


Remember - NOT a food photographer










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